|FMH Childrenís Club International
ĖĖ A Company Of Prophets ĖĖ
P.O. Box 640109
El Paso, TX 79904
The following letter-form was brought about as a means of teaching my children the Word of God through the mail. And of course, quite naturally so, thatís the reason I begin these letters with "Dear Children" and end them with "Love Dad". So for the rest of you who participate in these weekly messages, please keep their original intended purpose in mind.
10 March, 2002
Wow! What an unbelievable year this oneís going to be... "in the Lord!" I mean weíre only a few weeks into 2002 and just wait until you hear whatís already happened! To tell you the truth, itís really been one more wild and crazy time!
So, without wasting a whole lot of paper with the small talk, what do you say we just pick-it-up where we left-off in our last sermonet of Jimmy Swaggart And The Accursed! (12/30/01)? Because in that sermonet we quoted Jimmy Swaggart as saying: "...itís hard to get rid of the flesh. (Brother Swaggart laughs.) Itís hard! But if you will put your eyes on what Jesus has done, and keep your faith there, and anchor it there, not let it be moved, then youíre going to have half of the church persecute you, and a lot of your relatives are going to tell you "Youíre crazy!" Iím serious, but, youíll have a joy and a freedom in your soul like youíve never had it before in your life."
Now what Brother Swaggart has just described is The Salvation Process that must take place in the Believer (Christian) after his or her initial acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Itís whatís better know as "dying to the flesh" and being "born in the Spirit", and the entire process all comes about through what Jesus did at The Cross. You see Jesus, as our Great High Priest, perfected The Salvation Process through His Crucifixion on The Cross so that He could give us the Guidance and Strength of the Holy Spirit to "walk" through ours. And of course seeing how most religious folks ainít too crazy about having their flesh "crucified", thatís the very good reason the Lordís in the process of giving us this long running series on How Do You Want Your Fire... Now Or Later? Because the truth of the matter is that when it comes to the "human body and sin", we really donít have a whole lot of choice in the matter. In other words, either we "take up our cross" and get rid of the flesh in the "here and now", or weíll feel it burn in Hell forever in the "great hereafter"!
And having said all that itís time to get it on down with program concerning The Journey Of Fear! Because you see thatís the title of this weekís sermonet, and, without a doubt, Iíve kinda like been there and done that when I say fear. In other words, what Iím about to say will be said through my very own "real life" experience... and itís all about how the Lordís been working in me to crucify my very own sinful fearful flesh.
So, seeing how weíre on the subject of "crucifixion and fear", what better way to start this one off than with a Scriptural promise from Jesus: "And he [Jesus] said unto them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away? For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Fatherís, and of the holy angels." (Luke 9:23-26)
You see in that very short little Scripture we find the "reality" of Godís chosen method of "getting rid of our flesh". I mean the part about being "crucified daily" is pretty obvious, but the "fear" part can only be found by looking up the Greek word for "ashamed": To have the feeling of shame or fear which prevents a person from doing what he knows he should do.
Donít you just love it? No, not the part about being crucified... but the reality of whatís going to happen when Jesus speaks His special Word to us through His Holy Spirit. Because you see if we obey Him, by doing what He tells us to do, then some of our dead rotting flesh is going to get nailed to the cross Jesus commanded us to carry. And of course looking at this "killing thing" from a "fleshly perspective", itís pretty much guaranteed that our flesh will react immediately to the Lordís Command ó His specific Word to us ó by giving us an overwhelming feeling of being "scared spitless".
And... seeing how this thing about being "scared spitless" is a predictable "fleshly phenomenon", Jesus gave us the very bold warning in Luke 9 that "If you let the fear of your flesh stop you from obeying Godís Word, then Hell is your destination of choice!"
So are you starting to get the picture? Either get rid of the sinful flesh now or live with it forever in Hell! Thatís the choice we all have to make! In fact if youíve got the time to check it out, the sermonets Pastor Tom Brownís Fear! (9/23/01) and Perry Stoneís Five Tornados (12/9/01) kinda like deal with the same subject from the stand point of the 9-11-01 disaster.
Now even though the Lord actually started crucifying my flesh way back in the early 80ís, it seems as though He really put this sin-killing process into overdrive somewhere around 1998. Because you see thatís when the Lord formally introduced me to the Christian CEO of The Toro Company, Mr. Ken Melrose, and then very promptly gave me the very bold Word to give to him... which resulted in me getting fired in March of 1999 (see sermonet series The Snakes In Toro! (3/7/99)). In fact, in the beginning of my mission with The Toro Company, I really wasnít any too excited about speaking Godís Word ó I was scared spitless so to speak ó but because of my "godly fear" I did what Father God had told me to do.
OK, so seeing how weíre on the subject of fear, this is as good a place as any to bring up the fact that there are two kinds of it ó a godly fear and a fleshly fear ó and itís pretty much guaranteed that one or the other is going to control our actions. You see the "godly fear" will cause us to do whatever God tells us to do while the "fleshly fear" will cause us to do the exact opposite. In fact an easy way to understand this fear factor is that "fleshly fear" is the result of our sin-filled flesh trying to stop us from doing Godís Will. And of course, quite naturally so, God the Father says that if we really want to be one of His, our "fleshly fear" has got to go!"
Now based on what Iíve just said, would anyone care to venture a guess as to what kind of "fleshly fear" has tried to control my life for the past few years? Well if you guessed "not having a job and having to completely trust in God for my daily needs" you guessed right! I mean just the thought of having to depend on God entirely for my sustenance made my toenails curl. It really and truly made me "scared spitless".
So seeing how this was one of my major "fleshly fears", what do you figure God the Father did to kill it off? Well first of all He got me fired from Toro, and then He informed me of the fact that I wasnít going to get a job until He got me my job back with The Toro Company. Father God then continued on by saying that during my extended vacation time He was going to teach me how to trust in Him. And now that weíre almost three years into this little flesh-killing exercise, I can safely say that after my most recent "journey of fear for the Lord" my "fear of having to trust in God for all my needs" is completely gone. Glory!
In fact if you really care to read more about our "flesh crucifixion" at the beginning of this great adventure, why not check out my son Arthurís sermonet No Job, No Money, But God Will Provide! (7/25/99). In the beginning it was rough! And to be perfectly honest with you, it was only one month after that particular sermonet was written that I actually found myself shaking my fist at Father God in protest. I mean I acted like a spoiled brat by openly complaining that it just wasnít fair how us Christians were having to suffer.
You see I totally lost control, but thank the Lord for my daughter Hadassah. Because it was shortly after my uncontrolled outburst that she asked the Father the following question in prayer: "Is the spirit Dadís in the way a Christian should act... and is it right?" That was her question and the following day she gave me His answer: "No, it is not! And that Dad was not happy to suffer for Christ, and he was tired of suffering, and He was going to provide for us and take care of us. And besides, would he rather please the men at the credit card company, and all the people we owe, or would he rather suffer for Christ and make Him happy?" Well, needless to say, I repented of my sinful flesh and from then on out have tried my best to suffer without complaining.
Now the really neat thing about this "suffering experience" is that ó through it all ó God the Father is slowly but surely showing me how this Salvation Process actually takes place inside the human body. And even though we wonít be getting into the "fleshly crucifixion" on a "cellular level" this week, it shouldnít be too awful long before we do. However, the Lord does want me to give you a sneak preview of the process, step by step, through the example of Peter.
You see Peter was a "red-neck fisherman" who wasnít the least bit afraid of getting in a "Saturday night brawl". I mean He would fight anyone at the drop of a hat. However, when it came down to suffering for Jesus at His crucifixion, it was the "fear" of his "sinful flesh" that caused him to deny Christ three times before the cock did his early morning crowing. In fact it was because of Peterís sinful "fearful flesh" that he made the choice of Hell instead of Heaven. I mean Peter committed one more gross sin, and was likewise bound for Hell... that is until Jesus came back from the dead and Personally walked him through the repenting process. So it was only after Peter denied Christ that he understood the fact that his "fearful flesh" not only existed but also had complete control over him.
And then came the day of Pentecost when Peter received the Power of the Holy Spirit. You see his "fearful flesh" was still a very real part of him, but now he had the Power to overcome it. So the first thing he did was ignore his "fearful flesh" and preach the God-called Spirit-filled sermon that resulted in three thousand (3000) people receiving Christ as their Lord and Savior. And of course it was only a short time thereafter that Peter got what he feared most when he ended-up in jail.
However, that was just the beginning of Peterís "journey of fear" as directed by the Holy Spirit. Because you see itís quite a few chapters later ó Acts 12:1-11 to be exact ó that we finally see Peterís "fearful flesh" getting killed-off for good: "Now about the time Herod the king stretched forth his hands to vex certain of the church. And he killed James the brother with the sword. And because he saw it pleased the Jews, he proceeded further to take Peter also... Peter therefore was kept in prison: but prayer was made without ceasing of the church unto God for him... And, behold, the angel of the Lord came upon him, and a light shined in the prison: and he smote Peter on the side, and raised him up, saying, Arise up quickly. And his chains fell off from his hands... And when Peter was come to himself, he said, Now I know of a surety, that the Lord hath sent his angel, and hath delivered me out of the hand of Herod, and from all the expectation of the people of the Jews."
Now, what weíve just read concerning the life of Peter is an "outside look" of what really happens on the inside of the Believer when they finally die to some of their sinful "fearful flesh" and become "born-again" in His Spirit. Because from that day forward Peter was set-free from the bondage of fear concerning his suffering for Christ. God demands that our fearful flesh be eradicated (killed-off), and it will be if weíll only hear Him and obey Him (believe Him) in all things: "For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world." (Hebrews 4:3)
OK, so that was Peterís "journey of fear" and now itís time for mine. However, please keep it in mind that what weíll be covering today is really only a small portion of my "journey of fear" that the Lordís had me on for the last three (3) years. And I guess the best way to get started is by picking-up where we left-off in 2001. Because it was on the 31st of December, 2001, that we posted the very bold sermonet Jimmy Swaggart And The Accursed! (12/30/01) on the FMHCCI Web Site. I mean please believe me when I say that this in itself was one more very fearful journey all of itís own.
But anyway, the very next day I prepared copies of the sermonet for mailing ó which included the "accursed" individuals mentioned in the sermonet ó and then on the 2nd of January I mailed them all out. It was right about then that the Lord informed me of the fact that "The Word to Jimmy Swaggart would be rejected." What a pleasant thought! Just what I needed; a few more enemies.
From that time on until the 7th of January the Lord kept me pretty busy paying bills with rubber checks. I mean I knew there wasnít enough money in the bank, but the Lord kept on telling me to do write them anyway: "Trust Me - everythingís going to be all right." So I did as I was told even though I didnít understand how He was going to pull it all off. I mean the only possible clue I had was in what He had me do that Monday morning at the bank; I played the part of "Elijah with the widow woman" (I Kings 17). You see the manager of my bank is a professing Spirit-filled Christian lady, and it was only several weeks prior to this great adventure that the Lord gave me instructions to apply for a loan.
Now my first reaction to what God had instructed me to do was that I had nothing to offer as collateral for a loan ó I really didnít want to do it! However, as I was soon to discover, my very good excuse didnít hold water because the Lordís desired loan was to be given "in faith" by the bank manager herself. Talk about bold! I was instructed to first verify with her that she was a "born-again Spirit-led child of God", then show her a copy of Godís Prophetic Word (The Testing Season), read her Ephesians 4:22-24 and Romans 12:1-2, and then instruct her that she was to seek God on what He would have her do concerning a loan for me. Finally, after having told her that I would be back for her answer on Friday, I was to leave.
Well through the grace of God I was able to "fearfully" follow through on His "flesh killing" command. In fact just in case youíre interested, the following is what the Lord said to her through His Prophetic Word The Testing Season (given earlier at the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries): "Have I not commanded you, Be strong and of a good courage. Do not be afraid or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you. For this is the testing season. For the Lord your God will test His people, to see those that are His and those that are not. But my sheep hear my voice and know me. But do not be afraid, for I shall bring you from a test to a testimony. And you shall testify of the goodness and the greatness of God Almighty saith the Lord."
You see God Almighty was giving the bank manager an opportunity to get rid of some of her fearful flesh... if she would only seek Him and obey Him concerning this loan. Then it was on Wednesday, the 9th of January, that the Lord started giving me instructions for a trip to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I was to leave on the 13th, pick up a friend on my way down, and then just show-up at the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries in order to personally answer any questions concerning our sermonet Jimmy Swaggart And The Accursed! Now youíll just have to believe me when I say that this was one trip to Baton Rouge that I was not in any hurry to take.
And then came my Friday morning appointment with the bank manager. Would you care to hear how she did on her test? Well the message I got from her secretary was that she was too busy to see me. So, as instructed by the Lord, I wrote her a short note and included one of my deposit slips along with it.
Well Saturday night rolled around pretty quick, and it was 12:00 midnight when the alarm woke me for my appointed trip. I got up and was on the road by 1:00 AM, stopping along the way to pick up my Brother in the Lord. We arrived in Baton Rouge about 9:30 Sunday night, and, under the Lordís leading, went to Chiliís restaurant for supper. In fact not only did the Lord specify Chiliís but He also picked the location. You see I actually had to drive by one Chiliís in order to get to "the one" that He picked. However, after having arrived I understood why the Lord had been so choosy about the location. Because as we walked into the restaurant I saw Pastor Dave Smith of the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries at one of the tables. And after having sought the Lord in prayer, I approached Pastor Smith, made some small talk, and then headed on back to my table to eat.
From Chiliís we checked into our lush "Motel 6" rooms where I searched out the Word from the Lord that my Brother had received on our way down ó "Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord." You see I was very fearful of my upcoming meeting at the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries, and it was all I could do to force myself to do what the Lord had commanded me to do. And this is right about the place that Godís Word really came in handy.
Because at the time my Brother received the Word from the Lord he thought it came from the book of Jeremiah, but it was only when I got to my room that I confirmed it and "a whole lot more". I mean as I read through the very first chapter of Jeremiah the Lord not only gave me His very good reason why not to be afraid of their faces ó "...be not dismayed at their faces, lest I confound thee before them" ó but He also confirmed His Word to me as spoken through Evangelist Mark Riley on the 22nd of April, 2001 (see sermonet Pastor Stephens And The Rejected Word From God! (5/27/01)).
You see it was about nine months ago, during a Sunday night service at Christ Living Word Ministries, that, under the directive of God Almighty, Evangelist Riley ordained me into the ministry with Words very similar to those of verse five: "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." So it was throughout the entire first chapter of Jeremiah that the Lord kinda like strengthened me and encouraged me to do what I had been called to do at the Jimmy Swaggart Ministry the following day.
However, the first chapter of Jeremiah wasnít all the Lord had to say concerning my Monday morning appointment. He also gave me two other powerful Scriptures ó Matthew 13:11 and Mark 13:11 ó in order to prepare me for our calling: "He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given." and "But when they shall lead you, and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate: but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye: for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Ghost."
So what do you figure it all meant? Was God Almighty saying that I understand the mysteries of the Bible and Jimmy Swaggart doesnít? Not a chance! The mysteries that He was referring to is the mysteries of the Cross concerning "the human body and sin". The Lord has given it to us to share with Brother Swaggart but the Devil is doing one more bang-up job of stopping him from receiving it. In fact Old Splitfoot is doing such a wonderful job of it that my obedience to God has brought about a form of "religious hatred" directed straight at me. However, as bad as that might seem, the Lord assured me in Mark 13:11 that I neednít worry because He would give me His Word to say to my accusers at the appropriate time.
And after that very thorough briefing Sunday night, we arrived at the Jimmy Swaggart SonLife Radio station bright and early Monday morning... just as the Lord had command me to do. Per His instructions I purchased the remaining three volumes needed to complete my set of the Jimmy Swaggart Commentaries (#18, #19, and #20), and the Brother and I then headed on back out to my truck to pray. It was only a short time thereafter that the Lord gave me His instructions on what we were to do next.
Now, as the Lord would have it, we only had to wait a few minutes before Sister Swaggart drove up for her morning radio program... and thatís when I did what I had been told to do. I introduced myself first and then gave her my FMHCCI business card along with the message that "the Lord had sent us to talk with her and Brother Swaggart". I ended our very brief conversation by saying that we would be waiting for them in the lobby of the administration building. So from 9:00 until shortly before 12:00 we patiently waited for our God-called meeting... that is until one of the staff members gave us the bad news. Because what we were told was that Sister Swaggart wouldnít be able to meet with us, however we could make an appointment for a later date.
Well seeing how the Lord had already given me instructions on what to do if they didnít see us before 12:00 noon, I followed His orders by writing out a quick note to her (Sister Swaggart) ó "Sorry we werenít able to see you - hope you read Jimmy Swaggart And The Accursed! (12/30/01) - it was from God." ó and then we left. Whew, what a relief! The dreaded confrontation never came about, but then again the Word they so desperately needed never got spoken. However, even though Godís predicted rejection had been fulfilled, it was His new promise that gave me hope: "They will accept My Word at a later date."
From there we ate at the restaurant of the Lordís choosing (Schlotzskyís), and shortly thereafter headed on down the road to visit the Jesse Duplantis Ministries. Jesseís place was about an hourís drive east on I-10, and I was pleasantly surprised to find it located in the center of a pretty little town. The name of the community was Destrehan, Louisiana, and on the right hand side of Brother Jesseís Ministry was the Country Club, with the Masonic Temple kinda like located directly across the street. What a nice neighborhood for a ministry!
After a short tour of town we found a place to park; I needed to hear what the Lord wanted us to do next. Well I prayed, and I prayed, but nothing seemed to come... until I finally heard a faint voice saying "move". So we drove a few miles down the road until I was able to hear from the Lord once again. You see the hearing problem I experienced was in the spirit world, and it was directly related to the wrong kind of spirits hanging around Brother Jesseís ministry.
But anyway, the Lord told me to head on down to New Orleans, and do it without even delivering the letters to JDM. Because you see it was several days earlier, as the Lord was preparing me for this trip, that He directed me to share our three (3) letters to Brother Jesse with one of his assistants... and do it with the hope of finally getting Godís Truth through to Brother Jesse. That was what the Lord wanted, but seeing how He gave me the bad news ó "Itís no use to deliver the letters, Godís Word will not be received." ó Iíll just go ahead and share them with you anyway:
Jesse Duplantis Ministries
P.O. Box 20149
New Orleans, LA 70141
1 March, 2000
Dear Brother Jesse,
Iím sorry to bother you but I feel the issue at hand is very important. I realize you must be a very busy man, so I hope you have just a few minutes to spare. This letter is concerning your association with Benny Hinn. I watched your most recent appearance with him on This Is Your Day, and I also caught your comment on your great escape from the Roman Catholic Religion. Was this something the Lord was leading you to do? Well whether it was planned or not it caught my attention. You see it was well over two years ago that the Lord kinda like made it one of my daily chores to watch This Is Your Day. And even though I admire Brother Benny for his dedication and service, the Lord showed me a very serious flaw in his Christian armor.
So it was in November of 1998 that I wrote him a letter expressing my concern over his association with the Pope and the Roman Catholic religion. Well he got the letter, and I got a response, but it certainly wasnít the response weíd hoped for. In fact it was in October of 1999 that the Lord laid out a few Scriptures on my familyís heart concerning Brother Bennyís spiritual condition (Numbers 4:15, I Corinthians 5:2-3, I Timothy 4:1-2, Matthew 13:15, and I Timothy 5:22), and the attached letter is the result of my obedience to Father God concerning them (see Benny Hinn And The Pope! (2/20/00)).
I do not know your heart, but I can only hope that itís open for God. Iím trying every way possible to help Brother Benny get a hold of The Truth, and youíre just one more avenue in my pursuit.
In the Lord,
That was our very first letter to Brother Jesse, and now for the second:
15 January, 2001
Dear Brother Jesse,
The Lord sure does work in strange ways. I mean that last letter I sent you not only got me on your mailing list but it also got me a personal invite to participate in your El Paso "2001 Celebrate Jesus Crusade". Well I prayed about what the Lord would have me to do and He said just "do it". So on the 9th of January I attended the Volunteer Meeting and even had the opportunity of sharing an amazing revelation that the Lord has opened up to me to a few of your people. Yep! I got to tell Rev. Appeldorn, Mr. Dark, and Ms. Suzanne (name?) a little about what the Word of God has to say on "the human body and sin". Itís really mind boggling how it all works, but Iím afraid my listeners didnít share my enthusiasm. Oh well, whatís new.
But anyway, on the 11th of January you had the first service of your crusade. I worked as an usher and found the atmosphere to be different from what Iím normally accustomed to at Jimmy Swaggart Ministries (my church). And while weíre on the subject of Brother Swaggart, let me extend to you an invitation to experience some Holy Ghost filled preaching and singing on JSM Internet Radio (SonLife Radio) at http://www.jsm.org/html/radio.htm. Take a few minutes and hear it for yourself.
Now back to the subject of your meeting. Whenever the Lord has me attend meetings like yours I know that Heís doing it for a very special reason. So the entire night I was very tuned in to hear whatever the Lord had intended for me to receive, and I must say the one thing that kinda like jumped out at me was your approach to the Roman Catholic Church. Youíve sorta like been there, done that, and escaped with your everlasting life, but the Catholic portion of your message didnít reveal the horrifying demonic details of how the Catholic religion will take itís followers straight to Hell. In fact getting back to the subject of Brother Swaggart, he was willing to speak the Truth about the Catholic Church, in hope of saving a few precious souls, regardless of what the rest of the religious world thought about it. Itís called sold out to God and not to man.
Well your service ended and it was time for me as a volunteer to help receive the new converts. And as I was waiting for their arrival I noticed a man standing off to the side of the corridor. The man appeared to be very nervous, in fact I actually thought he was one of those homeless people who had come in from the cold. So it was through a nudging of the Holy Spirit that I walked over and asked him if he had accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior... and the answer that I got kept us talking until everybody else had left. You see this man had attended your service, but due to a "fear attack" he actually had to get up and walk out. This man was in bondage to some very real demonic spirits. In fact the more we talked the more he told me about his very dark life... which even included the self inflicted knife wounds up and down his arm. His life was one more big mess and nobody (doctors, ministers, or churches) seemed to be able to help. And it was right about then that what the Lord had given me about "the human body and sin" started to come into my mind and then out through my lips.
You see darkness is not near as dark if you have hope that the sunís gonna come up in a half hour. And it was through what the Lord has shown me that I was able to relate to him how Satanís sin yoke actually takes place in the brain stem, but, through a continuing faith in God and resisting of the devil, the kidneys can overcome Satanís chemical attacks on the body. I then gave him my card and likewise invited him to call me anytime day or night.
As I was walking out the door Mr. Dark asked me if I would be able to help with the Friday services and I cheerfully replied in the affirmative. However, it was on the way home that the Lord informed me that my reason for attending the crusade had been realized and He didnít want me to return the next day. So if you donít mind please relay my apology to Mr. Dark. In fact one of these days Iím going to learn to add on to all my promises "if the Lordís willing and the creek donít rise." Because it was only a few weeks ago that the Lord gave me a very special Scripture that goes like this: "And this we will do, if God permits."
So in ending, let me sum up what I feel the Lord would have me to share with you. Iíve enclosed the original letter that brought us to this point, and also the sermonet on Benny Hinn that followed the one I copied you on (see Benny Hinn And The Catholic Church! (4/30/00)). Time is getting short and the Great Religious Whore is making great progress with itís deceptions in the religious world. The world needs to know the Truth but how many Christians do you figure have the spiritual guts enough to stand up and speak it?
In the Lord,
What an exciting life I lead... never a dull moment! And now for our letter number three:
18 December, 2001
Dear Brother Jesse,
It was almost a year ago that I ended my last letter to you with: "The world needs to know the Truth but how many Christians do you figure have the spiritual guts enough to stand up and speak it?"
Well here I am again! In fact it was only this morning that I read in your December issue of Voice Of The Covenant your article How To react To Tragedy, and now I must react to it through this letter. Because what you said was: "So, if you know somebody that passed away in the Towers, the Pentagon or on one of those planes, be at peace knowing that those loved ones arenít "lost." Theyíre not in your past. They are in your future. If youíre a Christian, thatís a blessed hope because I personally believe that we didnít lose one of those people. I believe God ushered them into Heaven!"
Now when I read what you said I could not believe what I read... so I got down on my knees and asked the Lord to give me His Word about those deaths. Brother Jesse, the Lord has made it very clear to me that 75% of those who were killed in The Tragedy went straight to Hell. So why in the round world would you be telling those still alive that their departed loved ones are all in Heaven? Do you think it just might be the result of a "guilt trip" ó seeing how youíve linked-up with all those preachers preaching "another Jesus"?
Well getting back to the article, I continued reading until I ran into your next statement of: "Iím certain that as we put our faith in God and continue to unify as a Body, we can become stronger and stronger. There are some things that we will agree to disagree upon, but we can still come together in the unity of our faith in God."
Whatís the name of your God, Brother Jesse? I mean it was only the other night that the Lord gave me II Timothy 3:5 as a reading assignment: "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." And the reason He gave it to me was so that I would understand ó without a doubt ó His Perfect Will concerning me and a few apostate preachers that I know.
So where does that leave you as you stand amongst the Copelands, Hinns, and etcetera? In Godís Book there is no excuse in "knowing the Truth but not standing up against their lies": "When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand." (Ezekiel 3:18)
If youíre confused on just "who" the "wicked" might be, I invite you to read two of our sermonets entitled The Word Of Faith Error And Copeland, Meyer, Price, Crouch, And Hinn! and Perry Stone And The Five Tornados! You can find them at http://www.fmh-child.org... and I guarantee youíll find them to be very thought provoking!
In the Lord Jesus Christ,
All right, so those were our letters to Brother Jesse. And now that weíve finally made them public itís time to get on with my "journey of fear". Because you see as we obeyed God by heading on down to New Orleans, we did so without even knowing where we were actually going.
Now as Iím sure you can all imagine, it was these very uncertain circumstances that called for some very serious prayer... and pray was exactly what we did. In fact one of the very good reasons the Lord had me bring my Brother along was because of his intercessory prayer gift. I mean throughout our journey there were quite a few times that he broke out praying in tongues when he didnít even know why he was praying. And please believe me when I say that it was during this particular phase of our journey that his praying got very, very intense.
Well the praying paid off, because it wasnít too awful long after that the Lord showed me, in a vision, a big tall building... which was followed-up by a real-life billboard advertising one of New Orleanís finest big tall hotels [Holiday Innģ Downtown-Superdome (http://www.ichotelsgroup.com/h/d/hi/1/en/hd/msydt)]. Now as all this information started registering in my little old mind the Lord told me that this was His appointed place for us to spend the night. So as my Brother continued praying, I continued driving, until, by the grace of God we finally found the hotel. And in order to calm my doubts about the whole situation, the Lord let me know that this was the place and it would likewise cost me $100 per room.
Now youíll just have to believe me when I say that the Lord was having me spend money on this "fearful journey" that I really didnít have. In fact as the fearful thoughts of just how much money I had already spent rushed through my little old body He reminded me of His promise some months earlier. Because you see what the Lord had shown me was that He would provide me money through my American Express Card even though there was actually no money in the bank. Itís what you call one more "test of faith", and I had to make up my mind real quick as to whether I was going to obey my "fleshly fear" or trust in Godís Promise!
Well I bit down on the bullet and obeyed God! Ignoring my fleshly fearful pain I walked inside and was waited on by one of three receptionist at the front desk. He was a big tall man whom I would soon discover was also one of Godís reasons for us being there. As he took my reservations for our $100 a night rooms, the two of us had a very friendly but short conversation... and then the Brother and I headed on off to our rooms.
Now the very next morning, while taking a nice hot shower, the Lord really opened-up to me through His Word. He started off with His Special Promise to me ó "Trust Me and youíll see great things, Trust Me and youíll do great things; Great and mighty miracles." ó which was followed by instructions for a morning prayer meeting. I got out of the shower, got packed, loaded up the truck, and then went to my Brotherís room to do as the Lord had instructed.
As we prayed for the Lordís leading, my Brother felt the urgent need to pray for the safety of the people in the hotel. This confirmed what I had seen the day before in a vision, and likewise, might I add, kept to myself ó the big tall hotel building crumbling down; Twin Towerís style. You see this was the reason the Lord wanted us in New Orleans. Now as to whether this "building collapse" was to be taken literally or figuratively I really donít know... but without a doubt, there was a mighty move of God that took place during our hotel room prayer meeting that morning. And before it was all said and done, I not only received Scripture from the Lord but also the instructions to write it on the back of one of my FMHCCI business card and give it to my receptionist friend: "Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept." (Matthew 28:13)
So what did it all mean? Well I really didnít have a clue, but at 11:00 AM the Lord said it was time to go. I made two more trips to the truck and on the last trip met one of the hotel maintenance men on the elevator. When I discovered he was a Christian the Holy Spirit came all over me by giving me a Word to give to him ó "Within the next few months itís very important that you not only hear from God but likewise obey God at all cost!" What a powerful Word!
Well my Brother and I then headed on down to the front desk to pay the bill, and, as the Lord would have it, my receptionist friend was the one who checked me out. I first gave him my business card with the Scripture and then filled him in on the details of what the Lord had shown us about the hotel. With an amazing look on his face he made the comment that a lot of the "good" hotel staff had just recently quit their jobs. I encouraged him very strongly to hear from God and obey God at all cost... because many lives were depending on him to do so. I then gave him a brotherly hug and the Brother and I were on our way back to Texas.
A few miles down the road the Lord had me stop for gas and lunch at one of those combination gas station/Subway restaurants. As we were waiting on our sandwich the man beside us noticed my Bible and started a conversation on the Lord. His name was Sidney. I gave him an FMHCCI business card and invited him to our Web Site. He mentioned the fact that heíd adopted two children from overseas, and then the conversation somehow turned to my upcoming trip to anoint folks for their God-called ministry. I told Sidney about one man in particular, who, after having run from Godís calling for ten years, tragically lost his son in a tractor accident. God allowed his sonís death in order to bring him to his knees and hopefully into Godís calling. However, even though his sonís death almost killed him, the man has continued resisting Godís calling for ten more years. It was then that Sidney made the comment, using Jonah as an example, that God always gets His man.
So does God always get His man? Well at the time I really didnít agree with Sidney. In fact for the rest of our journey I sought the Lord as to how Sidneyís comment might apply to me. And now that these most recent "journeys of fear" have ended, I can look back and see that Sidneyís word was not from the Lord but from Satan himself. Because as youíll see later on in this sermonet, Sidney was not the only false prophet I encountered along my journeyís way. Satan tried his best to stop me from accomplishing Godís intended purpose on these trips, and he did it by encouraging me through others that I need not suffer for Christ.
But anyway, as we sat down to eat our lunch I felt a powerful moving of the Holy Spirit as He told me to read Ephesians 3:16. As I turned to and read the Scripture in my Bible a mighty convicting Power of the Holy Spirit encouraged me that all my suffering for Christ was about to be rewarded ó "That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man..." However, it was only because of His revelation on "the human body and sin" that I was fully able to appreciate the importance of His very Powerful Promise. You see we must die to the flesh before we can be born in the Spirit... and without a doubt, a whole bunch of my flesh seemed to have already died on this trip! Glory! God is good... all the time!
Now, seeing how weíve got two more journeys to cover in this sermonet, weíll end this one by saying that from the time I dropped my Brother off at his house until I finally reached El Paso, Texas, there were many more great things that happened "in the Lord" along the way. However, seeing how my "fearful flesh" was still very much alive, the long trip home gave me plenty of time to be fearful that God wasnít going to pay my bills. I mean even though God the Father continued telling me that "everything was going to be all right", my flesh kept right on making me "feel" that it wasnít.
And then comes the great day of reckoning. By the time I arrived back at my apartment on the 16th it was all I could do to unload the truck, eat supper, take a shower, and crawl in the bed. My flesh was screaming out the fear of my impending doom ó no money ó but I was just too tired to let it stop me from sleeping. However, the following day was a different story altogether. Because you see as soon as I checked-in on my checking account I discovered a few of my rubber checks had bounced pretty high.
So what in the round world was going on? I mean hadnít God the Father told me that "everything was going to be all right"? I mean as far as I was concerned everything was not all right and I was just about ready to go out of my mind with worry!
Well the truth of the matter is that Godís ways are not our ways... because itís His way to make our sinful flesh become "screamingly fearful" just so weíll know itís there. In other words He takes us on our "fearful journeys" so that our sin problems can not only be identified but also eradicated. And of course itís only after weíve identified them as such that we must confess them as sins and then trust in the Lord to get rid of them.
Now just in case you havenít already figured it out, that word "trust" is one more mighty big word. In fact sometimes it gets so awful big that you canít even get a hold of it... and thatís right about where I was on the 17th of January. I was one more nervous wreck and the only thing I could do was try to trust in God and pray. Well as it turned out the Lord answered my prayer by first giving me His promise of the future ó "Be strong and of a good courage; I will not leave you nor forsake you." ó and then by telling me how to get my checking account back on the positive side. In fact after it was all said and done I had a whopping $20 to spare. In other words not enough to pay my upcoming bills but just enough to keep my checking account alive and kicking!
And then came the late-night call to my "hotel friend" in New Orleans. You see the Lord had instructed me to call my "front desk friend" at 11:00 PM and give him a few updates... and thatís exactly what I did. However, the surprising thing about my call was that I got updated too. You see it was during our very long conversation that I discovered why the Lord had given me the Scripture of Matthew 28:13 to give to him on the back of my business card: "Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept." I mean it all-the-sudden made perfectly good sense to me... seeing how he was a practicing Muslim.
Can you believe it? Well our conversation ended somewhere around 1:40 in the morning, but it ended with great success. Because you see before it was all said and done the Muslim man gave up on Allah and accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour! Glory!
All right, so that was how I spent my first day back in El Paso ó the 17th of January ó after a very long 2200 mile "journey of fear". Now would anybody care to guess what the Lord had planned for the 18th. Would you believe a 3800 mile "journey of fear"? I mean here I was as broke as a church mouse and the Lord wanted me to hit the road again! Well I canít say that it was totally unexpected... just a few weeks ahead of schedule. You see the Lord started giving me His plans for this trip back in the early part of November, but He kinda like failed to tell me that I would have to do it flat broke, very much in debt, and without an income.
Itís what you call "having faith and trusting in God regardless of the fearful circumstances", and it was only through the grace of God that I was able to force myself back in my truck and on the road by 7:40 that night. I mean every nerve in my little old body was screaming that I couldnít go, as the Lord continued telling me that I must go... so I went. And boy oh boy, what a journey it turned out to be!
You see it was the day after Christmas that the Lord started giving me the instructions for this second "journey of fear" through a reading assignment of I Samuel 16. And it was only after having read the first few verses that the Lord gave me His Understanding of what it all meant and what I had been called to do: "And the LORD said unto Samuel, How long wilt thou mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? fill thine horn with oil, and go, I will send thee to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided me a king among his sons. And Samuel said, How can I go? if Saul hear it, he will kill me. And the LORD said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come to sacrifice to the LORD."
Now when you take it on down to the bottom line reason for my second journey, it was through His special instructions of I Samuel 16 that the Lord told me I was to travel into enemy territory and anoint a few people for their God-called purpose. And just in case youíre interested, the enemy territory was none other than the state of South Carolina where my ex-wife had already tried to have me committed to a mental institution for preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ (see Jimmy Swaggart And The Accursed! (12/30/01)).
Itís what you might call a "mission impossible for the Lord", and the very long trip gave me plenty of time to think about what might happen next. In fact just to put me on edge, so to speak, the Devil saw to it that during the middle of the night I lost an exhaust bolt on my truck which was followed by a cracked windshield the very next morning. I mean all these little nitt-picking things were designed by the Devil to drive me absolutely bonkers, but through it all I was able to give God the glory and somehow keep my cool.
However, it was on Sunday the 20th that the Lord gave me an opportunity to meet a real "suffering Saint" whoís testimony would give me strength throughout the rest of my "fearful journeys". His name is Bob, and heís a Christian comedian/journalist who goes by the stage name of "RobertDale Rooster Tail". You see even though his tire blew-out around 3:00 at night, he was still struggling with it when I passed by at 10:00 the next morning. So it was just as the Lord had planned, and likewise just as He instructed me to do, that I went back and helped him... and the rest of the story is now history. Because whatís developed since our first meeting is a friendship that just keeps right on growing in the Lord.
But getting back to his suffering, Brother Bob was on his way "up north" in an attempt to scrape-up a small amount of money to help him stay alive. You see He had lost his job about the same time I had, and then his wife, and then his condo, and then his car, and on and on it went. In fact at the time of our meeting he was actually living out of his car while praising God for all the opportunities to be blessed. Because you see as God just kept right on testing Brother Bobís faithfulness, Brother Bob just kept right on praising God for His blessings. Amazing!
And of course seeing how this was what God the Father expected of me, He allowed me the opportunity to meet Brother Bob in real-life situation and likewise be greatly encouraged through it. So you might want to say from that point on I had a brand-new perspective on suffering for Christ. If Brother Bob could praise God through his suffering then so could I!
Now it was only a few hours later, after we had gone on our separate ways, that the Lord directed me to the motel where Iíd be spending the night... and He did it in the most unusual way. Because you see it was during my long journey that the Lord showed me, in a vision, the motel He wanted me to stay in before heading on into South Carolina. I mean after two nights on the road He was going to make sure I had a hot shower and a good nightís rest before anointing His chosen people.
Well the strange thing about this vision was that even though I had a general idea of the building design it was the blue and white color that really caught my attention. So I knew the color of the motel, and I knew that it was somewhere in Aiken, South Carolina, but as far as the motelís name and location I didnít have the foggiest clue... but then again I really didnít need to. Because you see as I was soon to discover, the Lord would tell me exactly where to turn until I finally ended up in front of the blue and white motel. Glory!
Now besides the fact that this motel was clean and close to my next destination, it was also important to God the Father because of itís owner. You see the minute I walked into the front office, and saw a picture of the owner on the wall, the Lord started dealing with me about the hotelís not too distant future. In fact before my stay was completed the Lord instructed me to give the owner a warning that "The motelís property value would drop to almost nothing in the near future because of terrorism." And since having returned to Texas Iíve communicated Godís Word to the owner ó who just so happens to be of the Hindu faith ó which will hopefully impress on him the fact that the God of Jesus loves him too. Wow and double wow!
But anyway, Monday morning came about real quick and it was time to anoint a few folks with oil. So the question that was on my mind was "would they accept me on my God-called mission or would they reject me in a manner similar to my ex-wife?" Without a doubt there were plenty of things for me to be fearful about... which even included the fact that none of the individuals even knew I was coming. This was the way the Lord had planned it but just what was in store for me? I mean would I "pucker-up" for the kiss or "duck" the sucker punch?
Well my first stop was only a few miles from the motel, and I was right on time with Godís perfect schedule when I passed an overheated car... and then itís driver hoofing-it on down the road. So what was I to do? I very quickly prayed about the situation, and then, after having received my answer, turned back to see if I could be of any assistance. Before it was all said and done I not only drove the man to his house but also discovered the fact that he was a Jesus believing prophet of God. Glory! And it was during our departing prayer that this "so called" prophet of God prophesied that my son Felix was living for God and obeying his calling by preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Now the first reaction I had was "Could this really be true?" I mean it had been a year since I had heard anything from Felix, and he was definitely one of Godís chosen to be anointed on this trip. You see it was somewhere around the year 2000 that Felix started on his walk for the Lord only to be diverted off course by the Devil. He was "on fire for Jesus" until Satan kinda like threw a bucket of water on him. It broke my heart! So as you can imagine, it would have been great knowing that he was walking with the Lord and doing what heíd been called to do.
Well even though I really wanted it to be true, it was only a few hours later that the Lord told me that it wasnít. Itís what you call "lying prophet #2" spreading Satanís false hopes in an attempt to convince me that I wasnít going to have to suffer for the cause of Christ.
But anyway, before the day was done I managed to travel across the state of South Carolina and stop by the five (5) appointed people that the Lord had commanded me to anoint for their special calling. And without going into all the details, the message that the Lord had me deliver to these people was most often anything but pleasant. I mean these folks had been called by God but they werenít answering the telephone. In fact Romans 11:29 makes it abundantly clear: "For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance." In other words each individualís "gifts and calling" are all designed by God as a part of each individualís Salvation Plan, and if they choose not to follow their "gifts and calling" then their Everlasting Salvation is really and truly in doubt.
In fact the following Scripture is what the Lord gave me to give one of those individuals resisting His call: "And this I say, that the covenant, that was confirmed before of God in Christ, the law, which was four hundred and thirty years after, cannot disannul, that it should make the promise of none effect." (Galatians 3:17)
So what does it all mean? Well to put it in plain and simple terms, Jesus Christ took on the sins of the world and defeated them at the Cross so that we could do the same. Itís called "Take up your cross and follow Jesus!", and itís through our walk of obedience to His Will (calling) that we slowly but surely kill-off our rotting sinful flesh. In other words if we really want to be like Jesus then we must obey His calling. Not family, friends, business, money, church, religion, or anything else should come between God the Fatherís calling and us. Come "Hell or high water" we must follow Godís calling at all cost... because our everlasting lives depend on it!
And having said all that weíll leave the South Carolina "chosen" and head on down to anoint my son Felix. Because you see it was somewhere around 3:30 Tuesday morning that I finally arrived in Jacksonville, Florida, and located his apartment complex. And not wanting to disturb him so early in the morning, I caught a few hours of sleep in the truck before knocking on his door about 7:00. However, seeing how no one answered the door I decided to ask the Lord what He would have me do next. Well the answer I got took me downtown to the hospital where Felix works, and our long awaited reunion became a dream come true.
You see it had been a year since I had talked to Felix on the phone and almost nine (9) years since I had seen him in person. He was very surprised to say the least! Seeing how it was time for him to scrub for O.R. (operating room), we hugged each other first and then talked ever so briefly. However, it only took those few short minutes for me to uncover the truth about his spiritual condition. Because it was during that very short conversation that he asked me what I would like to do after he got off work... and I responded with "you pray about it and weíll do whatever the Lord tells you to do." And you see it was that one little old statement that not only brought tears to his eyes but also his reply of "I canít hear from God anymore."
Now youíll just have to believe me when I say that "Felix not being able to hear from God" was virtually impossible only a year earlier. I mean my son had such a relationship with God the Father that he was actually in-tune with much of what I was being given concerning the "human body and sin". It was truly awesome having someone to talk with who could relate to the "far out" revelation that I was being given by the Lord. Felix was hearing from God "loud and clear"... but then came his fall.
Because you see what happened very shortly after was that the Lord informed Felix of his calling, and what he must do for the Lord with his life (see Pastor Stephens And The Rejected Word From God! (5/27/01)). And of course seeing how what "God wanted Felix to do" and what "Felixís flesh wanted him to do" didnít exactly agree, he had to make a choice between the two... and the choice that he made was wrong.
So as time went on, and Felix continued resisting the calling of God, he kinda like became "separated from" and "deaf to" Father God. He lost his way ó became unsaved ó and couldnít even hear from God... that is until Tuesday night. Because you see what happened that night at his apartment was that I asked Felix if he would like to get things right with the Lord. And even though he felt he was hopelessly doomed to Hell for all eternity, we both knelt on the floor and asked the Lord to forgive him of all his sins.
Well do you think the Lord forgave him? Would you believe that immediately after Felix spoke the words "please forgive me of my sins" the voice of the Lord boomed back at him with something very similar to Psalm 103:12 - "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath I removed your sins from you." In fact Felix said that the experience was just like a stereo system that all-of-the-sudden had itís speakers reconnected. However, even though Felix was once again saved, the Father told him that he would not be on the same spiritual level as he had been before his fall. In other words he was going to have to work hard to reestablish the relationship that he once had with God the Father.
What a glorious night that was ó which even included me anointing Felix with oil ó and then came Wednesday. While Felix was at work I spent my time in prayer getting instructions from the Lord on what we were to do next... which verified what He had already given me on the trip down. Because you see now that Felix had come back to Jesus it was time for him to get serious about his calling from God and just do it!
However, it was only shortly after Felix got home from work that we discussed what God demanded of his life and likewise discovered that he was not willing to obey God and "die to his fearful flesh". I mean after all that he had been through and here we go again... back on the merry-go-round of sin. I mean I was thoroughly disgusted with my sonís lack of faith and the only thing I could do was pray.
Well pray I did, and what resulted was Godís directive for me to get into my truck and head on back to Texas. Felix had once again rejected his calling and there was absolutely nothing more that I could do. I mean as bad as I wanted to shake some sense into my son the Lord said it was no use to even try. So grief-stricken and broken-hearted I loaded up the truck and got back on the road by 2:00 Thursday morning.
Now even though I didnít want it to happen, the Lord had already told me what I was to do if Felix didnít choose to accept his God-called position with the FMHCCI. You see on my way home I was to stop at Fort Stockton, Texas, and anoint a young man to do the job my son had been called to do. And as much as it hurt me to even think about it, this was exactly what I was determined to do. However, it was just as I got to the Fort Stockton turn-off that the Lord let me know Felix would accept his calling and I wouldnít need to stop. Glory!!!
As you can imagine, the rest of my trip to El Paso went a whole lot smoother, that is until I got pulled over for speeding when I wasnít even speeding. What a bummer! What was I to do? I mean the policeman said I was speeding but yet I knew I wasnít. So as the nice policeman sat in his car calling in my driverís license I decided to pray. And you see it was the Fatherís answer to my prayer that led me and the nice policeman into a conversation about the Lord... which uncovered the fact that he believed very strongly in the "once saved always saved" doctrine... which gave me the opportunity to tell him that his once saved always saved doctrine would take him straight to Hell. And furthermore, I went on to inform him of the fact that God had actually gotten him to pull me over (even though I was not speeding) just so he could hear the truth and possibly escape the fires of Hell. He then gave me a warning ticket, which was followed by me giving him my FMHCCI card and inviting him to our Web Site. I got back in my truck, praising God for the opportunity, and then drove on off into the sunset.
What a day! Well I finally got back to my apartment on Friday the 25th of January, somewhere around 5:30 in the afternoon, and just in time to be overwhelmed with thoughts of my desperate situation and "no money". I mean I was really dog-tired (weary to the bone), full of doubts and confusion, but I decided to turn-on the computer and check-out my e-mails. Not a good idea! You see just as Old Splitfoot would have it, what I found was the following very positive (?) words of encouragement (?) that I so desperately needed to hear:
From: "Michael Infanti" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Sent: Wednesday, January 23, 2002 4:57 PM
Subject: The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways
Dear Bruce Hallman,
The Lord directed me to your site and Sermonets and instructed me to deliver a concise and exacting instruction:
"Get thee to an accredited physician of mental health."
By the way, your Sermonet that includes your somewhat amusing analysis of Andrea Yates illness (as a battle with Satan) is not surprisingly rife with errors. [See sermonet Ungodly: Andrea Yates And Mike Mason! (7/22/01)]
Ms. Yates is simply put, mentally ill and has been for a long time. Her family has a history of mental illness, and she developed symptoms which included violent images voices and urges after her FIRST child was born. After her 4th child she was put on Halodol as a last resort AFTER she had attempted suicide twice & had a severe breakdown in which she lapsed into a catatonic state from which doctors were unable to revive her. Let's also mention that up till that point, the god-fearing skinflint Mr. Yates, who was aware at this point of his wife's fragile mental condition, who was making $80K/yr. at NASA, had forced his wife and originally 2, then 3, then 4 children to live in a renovated 350 sq. ft. bus.
After finally moving into a house, Mr. Yates, in his infinite wisdom, decided his wife should cease taking her medication so she could conceive a 5th child for him. She of course relapsed with a vengeance after the last child was born, was put back on Halodol, but with no-one monitoring her, she again went off the medication. Her violent urges & voices returned, which she could no longer control.
Like her, Mr. Hallman, you appear to have urges you cannot control. Fortunately, yours have not become violent, just delusional. Your personal problems and desire for a simple answer in life have led you down a path that has culminated into believing you are God's prophet. It is not uncommon ailment. This delusion inserts a powerful meaning into your life and provides a welcome escape from the real world and the more mundane every day problems such as inter-personal relationships and gainful employment.
As long as you follow this path Mr. Hallman, your list of accursed will most assuredly grow. Not because you will discover more "snakes", but because you will increasingly isolate yourself from those that threaten your delusions.
On the other hand, I can't find a more delightful group for you to annoy than that self-righteous hypocritical Swaggart and his cohorts. You also seem to be enamored of skewering Robertson, Copeland, Hinn, et al. Good for you. I think you should start corresponding with their ministries and discovering their "snakes" right away. And please add Mr. Falwell to the list. Perhaps God has a plan for you after all...
Ciao (I'd pray for you, but The Lord instructed me to remove you from my prayer list),
So what do you think about that one? Well all I can say is that it certainly wasnít what I needed to prepare me for what the Lord was about to have me do. Because it was the following morning, after having had only one good nightís sleep, that the Lord dropped the bomb on me again. You see it was in prayer, while seeking Godís direction for my day, that the Lord gave me a very alarming list of things to do... which even included a return trip to Jacksonville, Florida. I could not believe what I was hearing... or should I say I did not want to believe what I was hearing!
Talk about "fearful flesh"! I mean at that point in time, without a doubt, I was absolutely scared spitless! However, as scared as I might have been I really didnít have much of a choice. Because you see the way Father God explained it to me was that Felix would do what he had been called to do if I would be willing to give my life in order to make it happen. And in order to help me understand His "if" just a little bit better, Father God gave me the following Scripture to go along with it: "God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged." (Romans 3:4)
So have you caught on to what the Father was saying? Well the part about "let God be true" was directed at Godís statement that "Felix would accept his calling". God said it would happen, and it would happen, but only if I did what I had been called to do. However, if I didnít do what I had been called to do then Felix wouldnít accept Godís calling and my disobedience would make God a liar.
Pretty rough stuff, huh? But that ainít even all! Because the part about "overcoming when Iím judged" goes back to what the Father has been showing me about the "human body and sin". You see it was His Will to kill-off some of my "fearful flesh" during my up-coming trip to Jacksonville, Florida... however if I wasnít willing to suffer for Christ then it was guaranteed that I would end up suffering for Satan. In other words, the bottom line is How Do You Want Your Fire... Now Or Later?
Itís what you might want to call "caught between a rock and a hard place". I mean everything depended on me making another trip to Jacksonville, Florida. So once again, against the screaming resistance of my "sinful fearful flesh", I forced myself to do as I had been told by getting back on the road for my third "journey of fear" of the new year.
Now as bad as the two previous journeys had been, this one was by far the worst of all. In addition to the fact that I didnít have the money to pay my apartment rent and credit card, I was back off on another 3262 mile journey with "truck title" in hand. And you see the reason the Lord had me carry my title was just in case things didnít work out and I had to sell my truck. I mean what the Father had instructed me to do was whatever it took to get Felix to obey Godís calling... which even included me becoming a homeless person living in the streets of Jacksonville, Florida (see Whatever It Takes! (1/2/00) for additional insight on being Fool Crazy! (4/27/97) for Jesus).
What a terrifying thought! And then came the appointed time of reckoning. I arrived at Felixís apartment on Monday January the 28th at 3:30 in the afternoon. I only had to wait about a half-hour before Felix returned from work, however this time I was not received with opened arms as before. You see it seemed as though my parting comment from my previous visit ó I wouldnít bother him with my phone calls and letters anymore ó hadnít set too well. I mean seeing how he was the one who cut-off all communications the previous year it only seemed logical that my comment would have been welcomed.
Well, after explaining why I was back in Jacksonville, I requested that the two of us go into his apartment and pray. However, it was just as Felix rejected my proposal and walked off ó I was not welcomed in his apartment ó that I spilled my guts about having to live in the streets. I mean I let him know in no uncertain terms that I had been called to give my life for him... and that I really didnít have a whole lot of choice in the matter.
At this point in time I was really desperate, but you see Felix walked on off anyway! What a kick in the teeth! I mean I slumped back into my truck totally dejected and rejected. In fact I was too overwhelmed to even pray so I just sat there. I donít even know how long I sat there until Felix finally returned and invited me in. Glory! I grabbed my Bible and cautiously followed close behind.
Well, even though I had made it into his apartment, I was far from being assured that wouldnít have to live in the streets. We first prayed together, as the Lord had instructed me to do, and then I continued praying alone in silent desperation. I mean you might say that in the spirit world all Hell was breaking lose. In fact the air was so spiritually cold that I actually died many times over that night. I really felt I would end up in the streets... that is until a few hours later when the Lord told me that I had passed my test and would likewise be returning to Texas.
What a relief, but it wasnít over yet! Because you see for two nights and days I continued praying for Felix non stop. I didnít bug him; I just prayed for him. And it was after having been given Godís promise ó "Three days and three nights shall not pass before Felix will accept his calling from God" ó that the Lord finally told me to head on back to Texas on the 30th of January around 10:00 at night.
Now, without going into all the details of my trip, I arrived back in El Paso on Friday the1st of February. It was about 3:30 in the afternoon, and the prayer that I prayed not only included "thanks" for a safe trip but also the question of what the Lord wanted me to sell first ó the computer or the truck. I mean all Hell broke lose in my fearful flesh over not having the money to pay my bills. It seemed as though I was going out of my mind! And once again, right on time, I turned on my computer and opened-up the following very encouraging e-mail:
Sent: Monday, January 28, 2002 3:42 AM
Subject: Re-buttal of the "Snakes" in JSM ministries !!!
I dont know if I have ever read more garbage in my life! You my deceived, delusional and tablebaring friend are one really kookie, messed up puppy !!! I have been associated with the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries for 20 years, have personally known most of the men and women and have never seen what your claim seems to purport.
Yes, there were men and women who left, there were some who even told lies on the Swaggart's. But the snakes you mentioned in your ridiculous discourse is hurtful and damaging. I doubt you even know any of these people personally, and therefore, God is not going to tell you or any one to stop praying for them. God did not Tell you to stop praying for them!!! So who are you listening to? Obviously not the Spirit of the Lord! I am sorry to be so harsh but you do need correction in this area. You have given heed to seducing, lying spirits that have convinced you to go on some spiritual "Witch Hunt" at JSM. God did not tell you nor anyone else to do this type of character assasination!!! Remember that is the job of the ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN dont become his pawn in hurting innocent people at JSM !!!
Pastor: Bill Hanshaw
Now was that a bomb of an e-mail or what? I mean it seemed as though all the demons from Hell had come out to welcome me back home! My mind was in overdrive with uncontrollable worry, but then came Godís long awaited Blessed Promise. Because you see the very next day the Lord told me that the fear of "no money" was "no more". Glory hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! Just like Peter, I had finally died to the fearful flesh that had tormented me for so very awful long. It took three (3) long years of walking in obedience to the Holy Spirit and "dying to the flesh" but now that particular "sinful fearful flesh" was no more. And even though I didnít fully realized His Promise until a day later, the fearful overwhelming bondage is now just as He had said it would be ó "no more"! In fact just to show you how the Lord works, it was only shortly thereafter that He pulled me through once again by showing me how to pay-off all my bills.
Well, what a long fearful journey this has been! But hold on just a minute... weíre not even through with this sermonet yet! I mean weíve still got two very important e-mails to answer. So starting with Michaelís first, the following was my initial response back to her:
To: "Michael Infanti" <email@example.com>
Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2002 10:52 AM
Subject: Re: The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways
Dear Michael Infanti,
I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to reply to your e-mail... I've been seeking the Lord for His Truth concerning your comments.
First of all I'd like to say thank you for "speaking up". Much can be revealed through a person's honest confessions. And as to what the Lord has given me concerning yours, it will very shortly be covered in our up-coming sermonet. I'll let you know when it's been published.
In the Lord Jesus Christ,
So that was what I promised Michael Infanti on the 3rd of February, and, after having prayed about it for some time, I received the following Scripture from the Lord on the 23rd: "These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them from afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth." (Hebrews 11:13)
Thatís what the Lord had to say in regards to Michael Infantiís January the 23rd e-mail to me, but just what do you figure it all means? Well from the looks of things it appears as though our sermonet Ungodly: Andrea Yates And Mike Mason! (7/22/01) was kinda like what started things rolling. And I guess the best place to start in our little discussion is with the following comments Michael made about me: "Like her, Mr. Hallman, you appear to have urges you cannot control. Fortunately, yours have not become violent, just delusional. Your personal problems and desire for a simple answer in life have led you down a path that has culminated into believing you are God's prophet. It is not uncommon ailment. This delusion inserts a powerful meaning into your life and provides a welcome escape from the real world and the more mundane every day problems such as inter-personal relationships and gainful employment."
Now for some strange reason I feel that just maybe Michael Infanti has been schooled in more than just your basic #101 Psychology! However, forgetting about psychology and what "man" might think, weíre going to approach the issues at hand through Godís design of the human (spirit-soul-body). And getting back to Michaelís statement concerning me, the life that Iíve led in obedience to God the Father is anything but "a welcome escape from the real world". Dying to the things of this world ó "the flesh" ó is not what I (or anybody else for that matter) should consider as simple and pleasing... in fact the entire ugly process is a very complex, gut-wrenching experience to say the least. But you see for all those who truly love the Lord, and likewise understand what the Cross of Christ is all about, the "gut-wrenching experience" of "walking in Godís Spirit" can be tolerated or endured for a season... because the only alternative to this very undesirable process is Hell!
And having said all that we can get back to Andrea Yates and her problem... which of course directly relates back to the Scripture of Hebrews 11:13. You see this particular chapter of the Holy Bible is whatís considered the "Faith Chapter" because it talks about what the great Old Testament "men of God" endured "in faith" in order to obtain the promises of God. And of course the number one promise they were all looking forward to was being resurrected from the dead and spending life everlasting with the Almighty God in Heaven.
Now, just in case you didnít know it, this promise they were looking "forward to" has already been made possible through "The Promise" ó Jesus Christ and Him Crucified. And you see itís because of what Jesus has already done on His Cross that every New Testament Christian can be free from the demonic powers of Satan in a way that the Old Testament "men of faith" couldnít. And having said all that we can get back to the Andrea Yates who claims to be a New Testament Believer In Christ but yet has her "mind" controlled by the powers of Satan.
And with that thought in "mind" letís go to Hebrews 10:1-2 & 16-17 ó "For the law having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect. For then would they not have ceased to be offered? because that the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins... This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more."
OK, so what weíve just read kinda like points out the difference between the Old and the New Testament promise. There is a difference! In fact the Word of God actually details this difference specifically in the following two Scriptures:
Old Testament - Deuteronomy 6:5 ó "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."
New Testament - Mark 12:30-31 ó "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."
Do you see the difference? Itís all in the mind! The heart, the soul, and the strength/might are all listed in both the Old and New Testament but the part about the "mind" was only made available after Jesus did what He did on the Cross. New Testament Believers can and must also dedicate their minds to the Lord through their love for Him.
So just how do you figure we do this? How does this "mind altering process" actually take place inside the human body? Well, seeing how I Peter 3:18-21 & 4:1-2 kinda like gives us a pretty good hint, why donít we just read it: "For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:.. The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ:... Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin: That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lust of men, but to the will of God."
You see it's called the Cross of Christ. Jesus has perfected the New Testament crucifixion process so that we can die to the powers of Satan working in our minds ó the flesh ó and be reborn with a mind that loves God. In fact Romans 12:1-2 gives us a few more details on the subject: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
You see the Will of God is what we receive by Divine Wisdom. It's God special Word to each individual, and if obeyed it will result in that person's "mind" being renewed in Christ. This is the New Testament Promise that those in the Old Testament could not receive.
However, it's likewise guaranteed that God's Word will direct that individual to become a living sacrifice ó as in take up your cross and follow Jesus ó because that's the only available way for the human "mind" to be reprogrammed. In fact the Word of God says it very clearly in Hebrews 5:7-10 ó "Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared, Though he [Jesus] were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him; Called of God an high priest after the order of Melchisedec."
Jesus suffered and died so that all might be set free from Satanís control. His Promise is available to each and every person on the face of the earth ó which even includes Andrea Yates ó but yet she didnít take advantage of it. Why not? Was the Cross of Christ just too unimaginably painful for her to endure? Well, whatever the reason might be, she didnít suffer for Christ and now sheís suffering for Satan. In fact what makes matters even worse is that her present use of "mind altering" drugs will only make matters worse by making it virtually impossible for her to hear God.
And now for e-mail number two. Because it was also on the 3rd of February that I replied to the Reverend Bill Hanshawís e-mail of January 28 with the following:
From: Bruce Hallman
Sent: Sunday, February 03, 2002 1:18 PM
Subject: Re: Re-buttal of the "Snakes" in JSM ministries !!!
Dear Rev. Hanshaw,
I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to reply but I've been seeking the Lord concerning your comments. I appreciate your sincerity but I must inform you that your comments were of your flesh and not His Spirit. The Lord has informed me that we will cover this issue in greater depths in our up-coming sermonet. I'll advise you when it's published.
In the Lord Jesus Christ,
That was what I initially had to say about his e-mail, but then it was on the 12th of February that the Lord gave me His special Scripture for the Reverend: "These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having menís persons in admiration because of advantage. But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ; How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts. These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit." (Jude 1:16-19)
So what does it all mean? Just how do you figure (?) it applies to what the Reverend had to say about what I said ó "I have been associated with the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries for 20 years, have personally known most of the men and women and have never seen what your claim seems to purport." Well, if youíre confused, just maybe Jimmy Swaggartís words on the same subject might help out. Because you see the Lord Hand-picked the following words of Brother Swaggarts especially for Reverend Hanshaw: "You see nobody would say anything against it because, well it might upset the unity. Iím not trying to rock the boat, Iím trying to turn the wr-wr-wr ó Iím trying to find some sanctified terminology ó Iím trying to turn the wretched thing over! Hallelujah to God and the Lamb forever! What the Nation needs is an old fashion Holy Ghost revival. It needs preachers full of the Spirit who will preach the Gospel without fear or favor." (Jimmy Swaggart Home Church Video - September, 2001, 2nd Sunday)
Well now do you understand what the Lordís trying to say? I mean I knew that speaking Godís Truth about "the accursed" at Jimmy Swaggart Ministries was not going to earn me any "brownie points". I knew without a doubt that what the Holy Spirit had given me to say would not go over well with the "brethren".... but then again itís not the "brethren" Iím trying to please.
I am a faithful follower of the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries and likewise understand just how important his ministry is during this present-day end-time harvest. Brother Swaggart has been given a very critical part in spreading Godís Truth concerning "Christ and Him Crucified"... but yet itís up to "preachers full of the Spirit" to help him stay on track with the Truth. And, having said all of that, I will continue speaking Godís Truth concerning Jimmy Swaggart in our upcoming sermonet of Jimmy Swaggart And The "Since" That Should Have Remained "If"! (3/24/02) So stay tuned!
But anyway, in closing, donít be afraid of those who might oppose Godís Will for your life. Hear Godís Word and obey Godís Word at all cost... so that you too can Keep On Keeping The Faith In Jesus!!!
Dad (Bruce Hallman)
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